Forgettable Tale of a Drunken Dwarf is the second quest in the Rise of the Red Axe quest series, in which you must track down clues to find the truth behind the Red Axe corporation.
Forgettable Tale of a Drunken Dwarf is part 2 in the Rise of the Red Axe series, focusing on the dwarves and their capital city of Keldagrim. After the events in The Giant Dwarf, the Red Axe Mining Company has departed the city and set up a new headquarters in a remote underground location.
Veldaban, the Commander of the Black Guard in Keldagrim, wants you to investigate the case and find out if the Red Axe is planning anything nefarious. The problem is, the only lead he's got is an extremely drunken and kebab-obsessed dwarf.
Use your Farming and brewing abilities to your advantage, then prepare to be perplexed by puzzles as you follow the trail to the Red Axe...
To start this quest, talk to Commander Veldaban of the Black Guard who is located in the house west of the bank in Keldagrim. He is rather shocked to tell you that, after the incident at the end of The Giant Dwarf, the Red Axe company has left Keldagrim and will be kicked out of the Consortium. He finds it rather suspicious and wants you to investigate, although he has no clue where to begin. He mentions the only lead they have, which is a very drunk dwarf living in East-Keldagrim, who expresses strange behaviour when the company is mentioned. Agree to help him and you will automatically be transported to the dwarf's house during a short cutscene showing Keldagrim and proclaiming the quest.
A fast way to Keldagrim is through use of the mine carts from the Dwarven Mine just North of the Falador Lodestone and south of Ice Mountain. This is most easily accessed after doing the 'Perils of Ice Mountain' Quest and using the tunnel in the building left of the Dwarven Mine which puts you right next to the cart.
Getting the information
Speak to the dwarf. He is rather drunk and will ask for a drink. Speak to him again to pass him a pint of frothy ale (a glass of beer can be bought in the Laughing Miner or King's Axe Inns for two coins). He will, however, want "some of the REALLY good stuff", which is an incredibly alcoholic drink called Kelda Stout. He mentions you need to grow kelda hops from 4 kelda seeds, which his drunken friends are carrying around, then let it ferment into ale.
Seed 1
He gives the first seed to set you off.
Seed 2
Outside the Laughing Miner pub, you should see a Rowdy Dwarf. He will ask you for a random item for his seed. When you talk to the Rowdy Dwarf after relogging or waiting you can select the option that you don't know where to get the item and he'll ask you to get another item.
Speaking to Rowdy Dwarf.
A list of the items you may be asked to bring
Note: For some items like the bucket of "camel poo" you need a Camulet which is a quest reward from the quest Enakhra's Lament. If you haven't done this quest you just have to log out and log in again (or wait a few minutes). The other way is to ask the Pollnivneach kebab seller for some hot sauce, pour it into the camel feed west of the bar, and use a bucket on the camel dung that drops after a few seconds. Random items include:
An eye patch - Any Trader crewmember next to the charter ships. If your player mentions having one in the bank, you can go to the bank in east Keldagrim and check your bank for one.
A flier - Not tradeable. Dropped from barbarians and imps, or a random gift from talking to man (level 2) (Rare) Note: an Al Kharid flyer will not be accepted.
A potato - Can be picked north of Cow Field near Lumbridge. Or even faster with an Ardougne teleport and then walking north following the road to the first wall gate (by the guards) to the north. Walk a little more to the north and you should see the potato field.
A red cape - Can be purchased from Varrock clothes shop.
A bucket of "camel poo" - Use a Camulet and a bucket and ask a camel for its dung in Al-Kharid OR use a bottle of hot sauce from the Pollnivneachkebab seller with camel feed west of the The Asp & Snake Bar and use a bucket on the dung.
Bronze scimitar -Player-made or buy in Al Kharid Scimitar Shop.
Seed 3
Go to White Wolf Mountain by mine cart . Otherwise, take the Taverley lodestone and run north to the entrance to the shortcut, facilitating access to Khorvak. In the pub in the underground shortcut talk to Khorvak, a dwarven engineer. Take a dwarven stout off the table. Give it to Khorvak to get the seed - or just talk him out of the seed. You will "borrow" the seed if you manage to convince him that you will "return it".
Seed 4
Go to the west side of Keldagrim and talk to Gauss. He is in the King's Axe Inn south of the bank. He will ask you to do a toast with him. Buy a beer and talk to him again to get the seed. If you buy a dwarven stout, you won't drink it during the animation and you can use the glass in the next step if you drink it after receiving the seed.
Growing the Hops
Harvesting the Kelda hops.
Once you have all four seeds, go to the hops farming plot on the west side of Keldagrim in front of the palace. Ask the gardener for permission to plant kelda hops there, then go south and weed the garden using a rake (There's a rake spawn south of the hops patch near the gardener, Although you can just use a rake in your toolbelt.), plant the hops, and wait 20 minutes. You don't have to be online, but you'll get a notification when the hops are ready saying: "Perhaps I should take a look and see if my Kelda hops have grown...". The hops don't need watering and cannot get diseased. They can also not be planted in any other patch, for they cannot bear sunlight. Fortunately, they are known for having a remarkably fast growing speed.
If you need something to pass the time, you can talk to the gardener to get a letter. Take it to Elstan, the gardener at the allotment south of Falador (you can use the cabbage port from the Explorer's ring from Lumbridge achievements then go north or clan teleport with a clan vexillum), then go back to Keldagrim to get two herb (marrentill) seeds. When they've grown, pick the Kelda hops.
Making the Kelda Brew
The fermenting vat after Kelda Stout has fermented.
Go upstairs in the bar on the east side of Keldagrim (The Laughing Miner). Use two buckets of water on the vat (you have to have two buckets of water in your inventory because pouring one bucket at a time will NOT work), then add two barley malt, and then the Kelda hops.
Pick up the empty pot in the corner of the room (or use one already in your bag) and ask Blandebir to fill it up with ale yeast for 25 coins. Put this in the vat, then wait 5–20 minutes (you don't have to be online, but you'll get a notification when the ale is ready saying: "Perhaps I should have a look and see if my Kelda brew has brewed..."). The colour of the liquid in the vat will change from translucent/dark into a white/opaque colour with a ring when it is close to being done.
Turn the valve (between barrel and vat) and use a beer glass on the barrel when the stout has fermented. Go back to the Drunken Dwarf and use the option that says "I need to know about the Red Axe" to give him the Kelda stout and learn about the how he once went to the now abandoned southern Keldagrim mines to explore and accidentally "almost fell into the Abyss and encountered pink dragons", amongst other things.
Investigating Red Axe Base
Talk to the cart conductor in the south-east end of town near the middle-south cart leading into a boarded up tunnel and select the option to ask him about the closed off tunnel. He will tell that it cannot be opened, unless the Consortium orders so, so you must talk to an influential friend. Talk to the director of the Consortium (upstairs of the marketplace) mining company you joined during The Giant Dwarf. (If you don't remember which mining company you joined, then you can speak to Veldaban and he will remind you. However, you must do this after speaking to the cart conductor.) They will have the boards removed. Ride the cart that goes into the new tunnel. Note that to ride the cart your hands must be empty and you may not have a familiar out.
To go to the next room, you first have to complete a cart related puzzle. To complete the puzzle, you must collect stones (found by searching the box next to the controls) and set them in the dwarven machinery such that you can travel to either the blue marks or the red cross. This controls the path the cart will take. Your goal is to set up a connection between the red square all the way on the left and the blue boxes that are to the right. The red X is your final destination to take you to the next room.
To place/rotate a stone in a junction click once for green, twice for yellow, third time to remove the stone - assuming you have both colours available.
Note: Place the green blocks first then put your yellow. This will save you the trouble of having to rotate the tracks.
Note: If you log out at anytime while in the cave you will be transported out of the cave when you log in, although you will be where you left off when you enter the cave.
Room 1: A chasm
Riding the cart
Search the box to get two square stones. Then operate the controls and place the yellow stone on the farthest spot to the left and the green stone one spot below that.
Note: You may need to rotate the blocks in the controls to make the track connect properly.
Then take the cart, search the box (you should now have 2 green and 1 yellow Square stones), and take the cart back to the control box.
There are 2 ways to make the next one:
Green, yellow, green.
Green, green, yellow.
Note: You may need to rotate the blocks in the controls to make the track connect properly.
Ride the cart again, search the box (you should now have 2 green & 2 yellow Square stones), and return.
Connect to the red cross, with the two green blocks on the right hand side and the yellow blocks on the left hand side.
Note: You may need to rotate the blocks in the controls to make the track connect properly.
Ride the cart to reach the second room.
Room 2: Eavesdropping
Overhearing an important conversation...
You will be able to eavesdrop on a conversation between Hreidmar, an Ogre Shaman, and Colonel Grimsson dicussing the cross-breeding of dwarves and ogres. You will learn that the company bribed the boatman into crashing into the statue so that they could blame it on a human in the Giant Dwarf quest. Crawl through the hole at the oppositeend of the room from where you entered.
Room 3: Another chasm
You'll be in another mine cart room, so search the box.
Put the green stone on the far left, a yellow one above it, and another yellow one to the right.
Ride the cart, search the box, and ride back.
Put a yellow stone at the far left, another yellow one spot below that, a green one below that, and another green to the right.
Ride the cart, search the box, and ride back.
Put a green stone on the far left, another green one spot above that, a yellow one spot above that, a green to the right and below, and a yellow to the right.
Ride the cart to the fourth room.
Room 4: Gathering information
The strange library
You appear in a small archive room, with a number of bookcases and crates, the ones with visible contents being searchable. Search these three crates. One contains papers concerning taxes, profits, etc. The other two, however, are much more interesting. There is a copy of a letter addressed to the dwarven boatman, signed by Colonel Grimsson. It speaks of the bribe, which was part of the plans you overheard earlier, so that the boatman takes along some gullible human on his boat to blame and destroy the statue of King Alvis. The other letter is a report on an exploring dwarf who entered the mines - your buddy the drunken dwarf -, whose memory was wiped (just a bit too powerfully) to avoid any risk, resulting in him never recovering. The spell had been altered to entail a craving for beer and kebab, so that the dwarf, in case he remembers something, will not be believed. One of the books in the bookcases contains information on Red Axe employees, in particular Colonel Grimsson and Grunsh. The former is the henchman you met earlier, who, after the Battle of Barendir, was fired from the Black Guard and employed by the Red Axe. The latter is the ogre shaman, who was found frozen on top of the troll mountains and taken care of by the company. Read through each document and continue your exploration.
Room 5: Yet another chasm
You'll be in the final minecart room, so search the box and operate the controls again.
Put a green stone on the far left, a green stone one above that, a yellow stone one above that, and a yellow one to the right.
Ride, search, and ride back.
Put a yellow stone on the far left, another yellow one below that, another yellow one below that, a green to the right, a green above that, and another green above that.
Ride, search, and ride back.
Put a green stone on the far left, another green one above that, a yellow one above that, a green to the right of that, a yellow above, a green below, a yellow above, then a yellow below.
This is the final room. The Red Axe director will show off his army of Chaos Dwarves, but before you can report to Commander Veldaban of the Black Guard, Grunsh the Ogre shaman will find you eavesdropping and cast a spell that eliminates all your memories about what happened in the cave.
Kebabs and Beer
Having a drink at the Laughing Miner.
Go back to Commander Veldaban. You won't remember any of what had happened, but your instincts will tell you to go to the Laughing Miner pub and have a beer and kebab.
Buy a kebab from Kjut, the store on the east side (immediately south-west of the Drunken Dwarf's home) and a beer from the pub to the south. Once you're inside, drink the beer and eat the kebab to begin a humorous cutscene. (You can just click on the beer and you will automatically eat the kebab.) Spies from the Red Axe will mention that "no one will believe the forgettable tale of a drunken fool now!."(You Must Drink the beer inside the pub)
At the start of the quest the commander asked "(Players name) Have you heard?" then the player responds "You mean, half the world has suddenly become a farmer?" This refers to the farming skill that was released on 11 July2005 just a few weeks before the quest.
During the Drunken Dwarf's first mention of the Kelda stout, he says it is "Ash blue ash the river! Ash strong ash ole Dondakan's rock. Ash foul tasting ash ash." "Dondakan's Rock" is the rock in the Between a Rock... quest.
If you look at your quest journal after your memory was erased and the boards were broken, it replaces all of the text with a few random lines. The phrase 'bad wolf' appears in this text, a reference to a running theme in the 2005 series of "Doctor Who."File:Bad Wolf.pngThe quest journal.
When eavesdropping on the Red Axe, he says, "And we would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for that pesky human," which is a play off of the Scooby Doo TV Series.
When talking to the Rowdy Dwarf, he'll say at some time, "Mmhh, beer.", which is a line from the animated TV series, The Simpsons.
When you eat the kebab and drink the beer to enter the last cutscene, and click anywhere on the screen, the cutscene will fade out and the beer and kebab will be back in your inventory. This method can be used to heal up to full. The un-unlockable "Beer and Kebabs" music track plays as well with this method after the cutscene fades away.
Upon the completion of this quest, one's Adventurer's Log will read: "I investigated a Red Axe threat to Keldagrim...and I don't remember what happened next. I keep thinking about beer and kebabs."
After completing the quest if you talk to kjut (the kebab shop owner) and select the option talking about the drunken dwarf he will reply "I thought you would know plenty."
The quest is listed simply as "Forgettable Tale..." in your quest journal, as the entire title of the quest is quite lengthy.
If you talk to Gauss after you cheer with him, he says "I say, I say, a toast to this fine human!", which is a reference to the popular musical "Fiddler on the Roof".
The part of the dwarfs story with "Pink dragons" might be a reference to pink elephants.
Talk to Commander Veldaban in the Black Guard headquarters in Keldagrim.
Intermediate
Experience
Experience
