Land of the Goblins

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Land of the Goblins (#127)
Release date 12 November 2007 (Update)
Members only? Yes
Quest series Dorgeshuun (#4)
Official difficulty Experienced
Official length Long
Developer John A
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Land of the Goblins is the fourth quest in the Dorgeshuun quest series. You must seek out the abandoned former home of the goblins, Yu'biusk, in hopes of helping Zanik.

Official description

The most ancient goblin legends speak of Yu'biusk, the far-off land that saw the origin of the goblin race. Now, one goblin has had a vision of this land and believes it is Zanik's destiny to lead all goblins to live there in peace and safety - but Zanik will not be able to realise her destiny without your help.

Walkthrough

Start point: Speak to Grubfoot in the Dorgeshuun mines. Speak to Grubfoot in the Dorgeshuun mines.
Members only: Yes
Official difficulty: Experienced Experienced
Description: None
Length: Long
Requirements:
  • 37 Herblore (may be boosted)
  • Ability to kill five foes up to level 75
Items required: Recommends Combat level 85 + (combat booster potions)

Toolbelt:

Recommended:

Enemies to defeat:

The Chosen Commander

Head to the Dorgeshuun Mines and you will find Grubfoot, the tiny goblin from Goblin Village. He is trying to gain access to Dorgesh-Kaan to talk to Zanik. However Mistag tells him "surface goblins are not allowed into the city by law. The council made an agreement to let humans from the surface into the city, but there was no such agreement about goblins. The council wants to extend a hand of friendship to surface goblins, but we have heard that they are a very warlike people. Most of the Dorgeshuun think that letting them into the city now would be going too far." Tell Mistag you will take responsibility for him and then go south to enter the city.

Yu'biusk

Grubfoot's dream.

Note: If you don't already have a vial and pestle and mortar, go to the bank and grab them. If you forget the vial and leave the Goblin Cave, Zanik will return to Oldak's workshop. Oldak will then ask for 2 Law runes and molten glass to transport you and Zanik back to the Goblin Cave.

Take Grubfoot to Zanik. She can be found in Oldak's workshop, in north-west Dorgesh-Kaan. He will say that he had a dream of a distant land named Yu'biusk to which Zanik, who he thinks is the Chosen Commander, must lead them. The Chosen Commander is a goblin who was prophecised by Hopespear to save the goblin race by leading them into Yu'biusk. Grubfoot believes a secret lost temple to the Big High War God located far to the west is the key to this new land; the priests know the way to Yu'biusk.

Grubfoot makes everyone promise not to reveal the location of the secret temple.

It built long ago, on Plain of Mud. It sink into mud and now it underground in muddy caves. It far west of here, near place where many humans catch fish."

Oldak will realise that a cave system is located in that area and will use a sphere to teleport you there. Grubfoot can't go as he must go back to Goblin Village before the generals miss him.

You Not a Goblin!

File:Goblin cave.png
The dungeon that houses the temple entrance.

You will appear in the Goblin Cave with Zanik. Head north west until you reach the entrance of a temple blocked by two goblin guards. You will find some Black mushrooms near the stairs leading into the temple. Pick two just in case. Right-click and grind the black mushroom with an empty vial in your inventory to make black mushroom ink. Use the ink on your goblin armour; if you forgot the goblin mail, you can kill the goblins around the area for some.

Talk to the guards and they will allow Zanik to pass, but not you, since you are not a goblin. You will have to find another way to enter. Head back to Oldak and explain your dilemma. He will tell you that you should seek out the aid of the Make-over Mage as he figures the only way to get past the guards is to become a goblin.

Head to the Make-over Mage south west of Falador. The mage will explain that you will need to make a goblin transmogrification potion out of toadflax and pharmakos berries. The mage will provide the berries, so it may be a good idea to gather a spare in case you miss any steps later on.

Once you have made the potion, unequip everything and head back to the Goblin Cave - near the south-eastern fence of the Fishing Guild.

Transmogrification

A player drinking a Goblin potion.

Drink your potion and talk to the guards, who will now let you pass. You can choose your very own goblin name and avatar at this point. The guards will try to guess your name. If you like it, tell them that they guessed right, otherwise to guess again.

You can not enter the temple while having a follower (Pet, summoning familiar, etc.).

You will now be inside the temple. Talk to the High Priest on the north and you will learn that Zanik has been thrown in the Huzamogaarb tribe jail for causing a ruckus. To gain access, equip your black goblin mail. You will now resemble a Huzamogaarb tribe member and will be able to pass the guard at the north east part of the temple.

Go to the end of the chamber and talk to Zanik. Ask her how you can rescue her and you will learn that the goblins confiscated her Moving-Over-Distance Sphere (Dorgesh-kaan sphere) and put it in a crate across the room. Simply search the crate and retrieve the sphere. Now give it to Zanik and she will teleport back to Dorgesh-Kaan, reminding you that you are now on your own. Head back to the High Priest and ask about Yu'biusk.

Quiz

The High Priest wants to test your knowledge about the Big High War God before he speaks about Yu'biusk. You must answer his questions with the correct reply to proceed.

True or false: those who do not believe in the Big High War God, whether they are goblins or other races, must die.

True.

Oh? Why?

The Big High War God commands it. ('Not to doubt Big High War God! Doubters must die!' 'Always to slay enemies of Big High War God! Enemies must die!')

True or false: Big High War God chose goblins to be his race because goblins mighty warriors.

False.

Oh? Why you say that?

Goblins were not mighty warriors before he chose us.

True or false: goblin leaders should be good at planning in order to win battles.

False.

Why not?

That's one of the commandments. ('Not to make own plans. Thinkers must die!')

Prophecy saw some day Big High War God send Chosen Commander. What Chosen Commander do?

Lead goblins to victory over the whole world.

After you pass the test, the High Priest will answer all questions. He will tell you that a deceased prophet named Snothead knows the way to Yu'biusk. However, he is dead and you can only talk to his spirit in the crypt, an area restricted to ordinary goblins. To gain access to the crypt, you must pickpocket one key each from the priests of the six tribes.

Whitefish

File:Fishing giant carp.png
The spot where the whitefish can be found.

You now need to dye your goblin mail to match each tribe and gain access to their chambers. You can simply apply dye of a different colour on one set of goblin mail once a key from that colour tribe has been received. If you've completed the Roving Elves quest, you can buy the dyes from the seamstress in the Elven town of Lletya with the exception of black and white.

The coloured dyes that need to be applied to the goblin mail are: yellow, blue, orange, purple, black. To enter the tribe wearing the white mail, you need armour which has its original colour bleached, resembling white. While in goblin form you can not cast teleport spells, to revert back to human form leave the temple by the stairs and attempt to attack a goblin, then you will become human again. Now teleport to Draynor Village to see Aggie.

In order to get your mail dyed white, talk to Aggie. She will tell you you need to catch a raw Slimy Eel, and use it as bait at the fishing spot in Hemenster. Go to the Lumbridge swamp dungeon, and bring a fishing rod and some bait. To the south there is a fishing spot, where you can catch slimy eels. If you wish to save time, slimy eels are tradeable and can be bought cheaply at the Grand Exchange. Note that while fishing, you may catch a raw cave eel instead of a slimy eel. These are not the same and cannot be used as bait to catch whitefish.

Opening the door.

After you have caught a slimy eel, go to the Fishing Contest spot west of the Ranging Guild. You will be allowed to enter since you have already won the competition before, but only after you have spoken to Aggie about the white dye in order to use the option 'I need to catch a Hemenster whitefish'. Catch a Whitefish and bring it to Aggie with 5 coins. She will now "de-colour" your goblin mail white.

Take the dyes and the black and white goblin mails to the cavern. Unequip everything, and take another sip of your Goblin potion to enter the temple.

Macabre Crypt

Start by pickpocketing the priest of the black tribe, since one of your goblin mails is already black. Enter the cave, and pickpocket the priest inside their cave. Next, look at the guards of the other tribes, and note their colour; if you cannot clearly see them, examine each guard. Apply the corresponding dye to the black goblin mail. Do this until you have one key from each of the six tribes:

Tribe Name Location Armour Required Key
Huzamogaarb North East corner Black goblin mailBlack goblin mail Huzamogaarb keyHuzamogaarb key
Ekeleshuun East Blue goblin mailBlue goblin mail Ekeleshuun keyEkeleshuun key
Narogoshuun South East corner Orange goblin mailOrange goblin mail Narogoshuun keyNarogoshuun key
Horogothgar South West corner Purple goblin mailPurple goblin mail Horogothgar keyHorogothgar key
Saragorgak West White goblin mailWhite goblin mail Saragorgak keySaragorgak key
Yurkolgokh North West corner Yellow goblin mailYellow goblin mail Yurkolgokh keyYurkolgokh key
The Crypt.

Now you can enter the crypt. Prepare for battle by equipping weapons and armour; you will change from goblin to human when you do this. Go to the first grave to the left, and say the name of the prophet. He will come out from the ground and start to attack you (level 35). When you have beaten him, ask him where Yu'biusk is located. He will tell that he does not know, but hints his ancestor might. Ask for the name of his ancestor, and go to the first grave on the right side, and speak that name.

You will be attacked by another priest (level 45). Beat him, and ask him the same questions. Unfortunately, he does not know either, so ask for his ancestor's name. Continue with this zigzag pattern until you have beaten the remaining three prophets (levels 55, 65, 75).

The last priest will summon four level 15 Skoblins, although these can be avoided by using the Protect from Magic prayer. If you kill one of these, he will keep summoning a new one, so just focus on the prophet.

Image Priest Name Level Grave location Attack Style
Snothead 35 Near left Melee
Snailfeet 45 Near right Melee and Range
Mosschin 55 Far left Melee, Magic, and Range
Redeyes 65 Far right Melee, Magic, and Range (Lowers Attack, Strength and Defence)
Strongbones 75 Far wall Melee, Magic, and Range (Lowers Attack, Strength and Defence), Summons level 15 Skoblins

Once you've killed him, speak to him and he will tell you the location of Yu'biusk.

He said Yu'biusk was another plane of existence, but if the barriers between the planes are breached, goblin blood would call out to Yu'biusk and create a portal to there.
 
— Player

Home Portal

Listen to audio.
Dusk at Yu'biusk (link)
Music unlocked during Land of the Goblins

After you have obtained the location of Yu'biusk, try to exit the room: you will be caught and thrown out of the goblin temple. Return to Dorgesh-Kaan, and speak with Zanik. She is with Oldak in his workshop. Tell Zanik and Oldak what you have learned from the priests. Oldak tells you that they have found an oddity - a fairy ring - south of the city. After analysing it, he found out that it contains traces of elements similar to that which are found in 'law' runes. The three of you decide to use the fairy ring to try and open a portal to Yu'biusk.

Make sure you have a light source and go to the fairy ring south of Dorgesh-Kaan. If you prefer, you may leave Dorgesh-Kaan, find the nearest fairy ring and use the code A-J-Q to reach the destination. If you prefer walking, climb up the stairs to the first floor, walk south, and climb up stairs again to reach the agility course. Now climb down the ladder to the west, head south, and take the first corridor to the east. At the end of the corridor, head south and look west for the transportation icon.

Meet up with Zanik and Oldak, who will ask you to adjust the machine by allotting power to each ring proportional to the area within the ring. The rings, from outer to inner, have diameters of 6, 4, and 2. The equation for a circle's area is:

Zanik getting sucked into the Strange Box.

Multiplying the diameter by x increases the area by a factor of x2. Therefore, if the area of the inner ring (diameter 2) is 1, the area of the middle ring (diameter 4) will be , or 4, and the outer ring (diameter 6) will be , or 9. Thus, the combination for the machine is 9 - 4 - 1.

Activate the machine and you will automatically be teleported to Yu'biusk. Walk north-west until you get to some short walls surrounding a strange box. Oldak will warn you that you need to return fast, but keep walking. Zanik will notice the box and ask you to help her open it. Open the strange box, and Zanik will be sucked into it. As the portal is closing and you have no way to save Zanik yet, rush back to Oldak and return to his workshop.

Congratulations, quest complete!

Rewards

Music unlocked

Required for completing

Completion of Land of the Goblins is required for the following:

Cultural References

  • If you talk to one of the Goblins in the temple, they will say there's a ghost in the crypt, and the player can respond with "So who you gonna call?" or "I ain't afraid of no ghost!", both a reference to the movie Ghostbusters. For the first response, instead of "Ghostbusters!", the goblin replies "Big High War God!".

Trivia

  • On the day of the quest's release, the Game Guide article's spoilers section read: Spoilers are being held in Yu'biusk for one day - come back later. The spoilers in fact became available 4 days after the quest was released.
  • Combat experience is not gained in the crypt; this is probably because the skoblins respawn forever, so a player could easily leave their character in the crypt for a long time and gain massive amounts of experience.
  • When talking to the goblin guards after transforming into a goblin, the guards will try to guess your goblin name which is a random combination of a prefix (Beetle, Bent, Blob, Bone, Dirt, Drip, Earth, Fat, Foul, Frog, Grass, Grub, Lump, Maggot, Moss, Mud, Roach, Slime, Slug, Small, Smelly, Snail, Snow, Snot, Stupid, Thick, Thin, Toad, Ugly, Wart, Wood & Worm) and body part (arms, beard, blood, bones, bottom, brain, brains, chin, ears, eye, eyes, face, feet, finger, fingers, fists, foot, hair, hands, head, knees, knuckles, legs, nails, neck, nose, teeth, thighs, thumb, toes & tongue) for a total of 992 possible names. If you don't like the name you're given, select the guess again option for another name choice. After choosing one name, talk to the guards again to change to different name. A player's goblin name appears in the quest journal.
  • The High Priest reveals that Big High War God's true name is Bandos.
  • The High Priest reveals that long ago, all of goblins were divided into 12 tribes. The Dorgeshuun disappeared, and the other tribes merged. Only 6 have rooms in the temple now.
  • It is possible to have a goblin name similar to the three most recent dead goblin high priests, as well as Wartface, Bentnoze and Wormbrain, though Bentnoze's name will be spelled with an "s"; Redeyes' and Strongbones' names are unable to be copied.
  • After completing the quest, if you talk to Juna, your character will say, "...Oldak and I escaped from Yu'biusk before the portal closed, but Zanik was trapped in the box." to which she replies, "Only to later return and betray the author of her destiny. I wish she had never found that box." Juna's response to the story changes after completion of The Chosen Commander.
  • Upon completing the quest, your Adventurer's Log reads "Grubfoot and I had a dream about the 'Land of the Goblins' which Zanik and I investigated. We found a world shattered by war, and Zanik disappeared."

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