Transcript:Wise Old Man
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- Wise Old Man: Greetings, [player name].
- (If lacking a task) Is there anything I can do for you?
- Player: Is there anything I can do for you?
- Wise Old Man: I'm sure I can think of a few little jobs. This won't be a quest, mind you, just a little favour...
- The Wise Old Man gives a task
- Player: (If having a task) What did you ask me to do again?
- The Wise Old Man repeats the task
- Could you check my things for junk, please?
- Could you check my bank for junk, please?
- Wise Old Man: Certainly, but I should warn you that I don't know about all items.
- Brings up bank junk interface
- Could you check my inventory for junk, please?
- Wise Old Man: Certainly, but I should warn you that I don't know about all items.
- Brings up inventory junk interface
- Could you check my bank for junk, please?
- I've got something I'd like you to look at.
- Player: I've got something I'd like you to look at.
- Wise Old Man: Jolly good. Give it to me, and I'll tell you anything I know about it.
- I'd just like to ask you something.
- Player: I'd just like to ask you something.
- Wise Old Man: Please do!
- Distant lands
- The Wilderness
- Player: Could you tell me about the Wilderness, please?
- Wise Old Man: Many years ago, when the foul Zamorak was doing battle with the forces of Saradomin, the northern reaches of this continent were blasted by his evil magic, transforming a vast area into a barren wasteland of rocks and lava. The spirits of the monsters that perished in this cataclysm are still roaming the Wilderness, even today, hunting for people to slaughter in their endless desire for revenge. They are incredibly dangerous, far more deadly than other monsters. However, it's still often worth the risk of entering the Wilderness. There are treasures in the Wilderness that are scarce elsewhere, and some of the other monsters are popular for combat training. There are even arenas where you can fight other people like yourself! If you dare to go to the far north-west of the Wilderness, there'a a building called the Mage Arena where you can learn to summon the power of Saradomin himself!
- Misty jungles
- Player: What can you tell me about jungles?
- Wise Old Man: If it's a jungle you want, look no further than the southern regions of Karamja. Once you get south of Brimhaven, the whole island is pretty much covered in exotic trees, creepers and shrubs. There's a small settlement called Tai Bwo Wannai Village in the middle of the island. It's a funny place; the chieftain's an unfriendly chap and his sons are barking mad. Honestly, one of them asked me to stuff a dead money with seaweed so he could EAT it!
- Player: (If completed Tai Bwo Wannai Trio) Yes, I've met them.
- Wise Old Man: Further south you'll find Shilo Village. It's been under attack by terrifying zombies in recent months, if my sources are correct.
- Player: (If completed Shilo Village) I've dealt with them, although there are a few still knocking about.
- Wise Old Man: The jungle's filled with nasty creatures. There are vicious spiders that you can hardly see before they try to bite your legs off, and great big jungle ogres.
- Underground domains
- Player: Tell me about what's underground.
- Wise Old Man: Oh, the dwarven realms? Yes, there was a time, back in the Fourth Age, when we humans wouldn't have been able to venture underground. That was before we had magic; the dwarves were quite a threat. Still, it's much more friendly now. You can visit the vast dwarven mine if you like; the entrance is on the mountain north of Falador. If you go further west you may be able to visit the dwarven city of Keldagrim. But they were a bit cautious about letting humans in, last time I asked. On the other hand, if you go west of Brimhaven, you'll find a huge underground labyrint full of giants, demons, dogs and dragons to fight. It's even bigger than the caves under Taverley, although the Taverley dungeon's pretty good for training your combat skills.
- Mystical realms
- Player: What mystical realms can I visit?
- Wise Old Man: (If not completed Lost City) The fabled Lost City of Zanaris has an entrance somewhere near here. Perhaps some day you'll go there.
- Wise Old Man: (If completed Lost City) Well, you've been to Zanaris. I met a fairy years ago who said she lived there. She was an incredible warrior, considering that she wasn't even a metre tall.
- Wise Old Man: Also, in my research I came across ancient references to some kind of Abyss. Demons from the Abyss have already escaped into this land; Saradomin be thanked that they are very rare!
- Player: (If completed The Golem) I've been through a portal into the lair of some ancient demon. It was in the city of Uzer.
- Wise Old Man: Ah, Uzer. A city much favoured by Saradomin, destroyed by Thammaron, the elder-demon, late in the Third Age.
- Player: Yeah, there isn't much left there.
- The Wilderness
- Strange beasts
- Biggest & Baddest
- Player: Tell me about mighty monsters.
- Wise Old Man: There's a mighty fire-breathing dragon living underground in the deep Wilderness, known as the King Black Dragon. It's a fearsome beast, with a breath that can poison you, freeze you to the ground or incinerate you where you stand. But even more deadly is the Queen of the Kalphites. As if her giant mandibles of death were not enough, she also throws her spines at her foes with deadly force. She can even cast rudimentary spells. Some dark power must be protecting her, for she can block attacks using prayer just as humans do. Another beast that's worthy of a special mention is the Shaikahan. It dwells in the eastern reaches of Karamja, and is almost impossible to kill except with specially prepared weapons.
- Player: (If completed Tai Bwo Wannai Trio) Actually, that one's dead. I've been helping a barmy hunter who'd sworn to kill it.
- Wise Old Man: In the north, beyond the troll lands, there is a cavern where an endless battle rages between the forces of Saradomin and those of Zamorak. Saradomin's forces are led by the icyene warrior Commander Zilyana, Keeper of the Faith. According to legend, she takes the form of a collossal[sic] woman with wings. Zamorak's forces are led by K'ril Tsutsaroth, a demon of devastating power. Around their encampment is a mystical darkness that no lantern can alleviate. Two minor armies are loosely allied with the Saradominist force. One consists of bird-like creatures, the Aviansie. Another consists of mindless monsters such as ogres and orks. The leaders of those armies are terrifying creatures in their own right, although inferior by far to Zilyana. Beyond the Fremennik lands dwell the fearsome Dagannoth Kings, reptillian[sic] creatures of the deep. There are three of them, fighting with melee, magic and ranged attacks respectively, on a small island at the bottom of a labyrinthine cavern.
- Wise Old Man: (If completed Summer's End) More recently, a new monster appeared in the world. It is known simply as the Corporeal Beast..
- Player: I've seen it.
- Poison and how to survive it
- Player: What does poison do?
- Wise Old Man: Many monsters use poison against their foes. If you get poisoned, you will not feel it at the time, but later you will begin to suffer its effects, and your life will drain slowly from you. Over time the effects dwindle to nothing, but if you had already been wounded you might die before they wear off completely. Fortunately, followers of Guthix have devised potions that can cure the poison or even give immunity to it. Should you wish to use poison against your own enemies and those of our Lord Saradomin, there is a potion that you can smear on your daggers, arrows, spears, javelins and throwing knives.
- Wealth through slaughter
- Player: What monsters drop good items?
- Wise Old Man: As a general rule, tougher monsters drop more valuable items. But even a lowly hobgoblin can drop valuable gems; it just does this extremely rarely. If you can persuade the Slayer Masters to train you as a Slayer, you will be able to fight certain monsters that drop valuable items far more often. You might care to invest in an enchanted dragonstone ring. These are said to make a monster drop its most valuable items a little more often.
- Biggest & Baddest
- Days gone by
- Heroic figures
- Player: Tell me about valiant heroes!
- Wise Old Man: Ha ha ha... There are plenty of heroes. Always have been, always will be, until the fall of the world. You're quite a noted adventurer yourself! ut I suppose I could tell you of a couple... Yes, there was a man named Arrav. No-one knew where he came from, but he was a fearsome fighter, a skillful hunter and a remarkable farmer. He lived in the ancient settlement of Avarrocka, defending it from goblins, until he went forth in search of some strange artifact long desired by the dreaded Mahjarrat.
- Player: (If not completed Defender of Varrock) Perhaps some day I shall be able to tell you what became of him.
- Player: (If completed Defender of Varrock) That can't have worked out very well for him. He became a slave of Zemouregal.
- Wise Old Man: The life of a hero has its occupation hazards.
- Player: (If not completed Curse of Arrav) It's exciting, though!
- Player: (If completed Curse of Arrav) I've retrieved his heart from Zemouregal's base.
- Wise Old Man: Well done.
- Player: Thank you. It wasn't easy.
- Wise Old Man: But do not let your head be turned by heroics. Randas was another great man, but he let himself be beguiled into turning to serve Zamorak, and they say he is now a mindless creature deep in the Underground Pass that leads to Isafdar.
- The origin of magic
- Player: Where did humans learn to use magic?
- Wise Old Man: Ah, that was quite a discovery! It revolutionised our way of life and jolted us into the Fifth Age of the world. They say a traveller in the north discovered the key, although no records state exactly what he found. From this he was able to summon the magic of four elements, using magic as a tool and a weapon. He and his followers learnt how to bind the power into little stones so that others could use it. In the land south of here they constructed an immense tower where the power could be studied, but followers of Zamorak destroyed it with fire many years ago, and most of the knowledge was lost.
- Wise Old Man: (If completed Rune Mysteries) I hear you've been very helpful to the wizards who are working on the mysteries of the rune stones.
- Player: Well, I didn't do much...
- Settlements
- Player: I suppose you'd know about the history of today's cities?
- Wise Old Man: Yes, there are fairly good records of the formation of the cities from primitive settlements. In the early part of the Fourth Age, of course, there were no permanent settlements. Tribes wandered the lands, staying where they could until the resources were exhausted. This changed as people learnt to grow crops and breed animals, and now there are very few of the old nomadic tribes. There's at least one tribe roaming between the Troll Stronghold and Rellekka, though.
- Player: (If completed Mountain Daughter) Yes, I've met them. They're all mad.
- Wise Old Man: Truly, their faith in natural spirits is rather foolish, but they're a pleasant enough people. Anyway, what was I saying? Ah, yes...
- Wise Old Man: One settlement was Avarrocka, a popular trading centre. In the west, Ardougne gradually formed under the leadership of the Carnillean family, despite the threat of the Mahjarrat warlord Hazeel who dwelt in that area until his downfall.
- Player: (If aided Hazeel during Hazeel Cult) He'll be back, just you wait!
- Wise Old Man: Oh dear, I hope you haven't done anything rash!
- Player: (If foiled Hazeel during Hazeel Cult) I've foiled a dastardly Zamorakian plot to have Hazeel resurrected.
- Wise Old Man: So I'd heard. Lord Saradomin is smiling on you.
- The Wise Old Man of Draynor Village.
- Player: Tell me about yourself, old man.
- Wise Old Man: Ah, so you want to know about me, eh? Mmm... what could I say about myself? Let's see what I've done... I've delved into the dungeon west of Brimhaven and heard the terrifying CRASH of the steel dragons battling each other for territory. I spent some years on Entrana, where I learnt the techniques of pure meditation. I've wandered through the vast desert that lies south of Al Kharid and seen the great walls of Menaphos and Sophanem.
- Player: (If completed Icthlarin's Little Helper) That feline statue you've got on your bookshelf there - I'm sure I saw something like that when I was in Sophanem.
- Wise Old Man: I've always liked to collect little trinkeys to remind of the time when my life was more - ah - exciting.
- Player: So you've spoken to the Sphinx, then?
- Wise Old Man: Spoken to a sphinx, you say? My dear young man, you can't possibly be serious!
- Player: What do you mean?
- Wise Old Man: Ha ha ha! The people who live deep in the shifting sands of the desert will often tell travellers tall tales of strange beasts, but that doesn't mean any of it's remotely true!
- Player: But I've met the Sph...
- Wise Old Man: Please, adventurer, there is nothing to be gained by interfering in matters you do not understand. Even if such a creature were to exist...
- Player: ...which it does...
- Wise Old Man: EVEN IF SUCH A CREATURE WERE TO EXIST it would be terribly dangerous for you to get involved in its business. I have heard of terrible things happening to travellers in that land, and I would not wish for you to be dragged into anything like that. Indeed, I have heard of adventurers doing the most shameful and blasphemous deeds believing themselves to be acting on behalf of some false god!
- Player: Hmmm?
- Wise Old Man: So please do not speak to me of this matter again. Now, I believe I was telling you of my adventurous youth...
- Wise Old Man: Apart from all that, I've spent many a happy hour in dusty libraries, searching through ancient scrolls and texts for the wisdom of those who have passed on. Plus plenty of other adventures, quests, journeys...
- Heroic figures
- Days gone by
- Three gods?
- Wise Old Man: Indeed. This is correct: Saradomin, Guthix and Zamorak. Saradomin, the great and glorious, gives life to this world. Zamorak craves only death and destruction. Guthix, calling itself a god of 'balance', holds no allegiance, but simply aids whatever cause suits its shifting purpose.
- Player: (If completed The Dig Site) So who's Zaros?
- Wise Old Man: What did you say?
- Player: I discovered a buried altar to a god called Zaros.
- Wise Old Man: Please, do not speak further of this. No good can come of meddling in such things.
- Player: So Zaros is real?
- Wise Old Man: Adventurer, my patience is limited. Speak to me no further of this - this - this foolishness.
- Player: (If completed Desert Treasure) Does that mean I shouldn't ask you about the ancient magicks I learned in that pyramid north of Sophanem?
- Wise Old Man: ENOUGH! Begone from me, you foul trickster!
- Player: (If completed Icthlarin's Little Helper) How about Tumeken, Elindis, Icthlarin and the Devourer?
- Wise Old Man: What names are these?
- Player: Down in Sophanem, they've got a chief god named Tumeken, plus a fertility goddess named Elindis. Icthlarin is their god of the dead and the Devourer...
- Wise Old Man: Adventurer, what folly leads you to believe these - things, exist?
- Player: But I've met Icthlarin! He's got a jackal's head!
- Wise Old Man: It is hot in that land, and the heat can affect an adventurer in strange ways. Tell me when you met 'Icthlarin' were you feeling at all unwell?
- Player: Well now you mention it I'd been hypnotised by a weird woman in the desert.
- Wise Old Man: A strange woman interfered with your mind then you met a man with a jackal's head and decided he must be a god!
- Player: Umm...
- Wise Old Man: Make sure you dont get hypnotised by weird women in the desert and I'm sure you wont meet anymore jackal headed fanatics claiming to be Icthlarins, gods of the dead!
- The wars of the gods
- Player: I wanna know about the wars of the gods!
- Wise Old Man: Ah, that was a terrible time. The armies of Saradomin fought gloriously against the minions of Zamorak, but many brave warriors and noble cities were overthrown and destroyed utterly.
- Wise Old Man: (If completed The Golem) You have visited Uzer, and seen for yourself the damage that could be wrought by an elder-demon in its wrath.
- Player: How did it all end?
- Wise Old Man: Before the Zamorakian forces could be utterly routed, Lord Saradomin took pity on them and the battle-scarred world, and allowed a truce.
- The Mahjarrat
- Player: What are the Mahjarrat?
- Wise Old Man: Very little is written about the tribe of the Mahjarrat. They are believed to be from a realm of Freneskae, or Frenaskrae - the spelling in this tongue is only approximate. One of them, the foul Zamorak, has achieved godhood, although none know how this came about. Other Mahjarrat who have been particularly active upon this plane are Hazeel, Lucien, Azzanadra and Zemouregal.
- Player: (If foiled Hazeel during Hazeel Cult) I've foiled a dastardly Zamorakian plot to have Hazeel resurrected.
- Wise Old Man: So I'd heard. Lord Saradomin is smiling on you.
- Player: (If aided Hazeel during Hazeel Cult) Hazeel will be back, just you wait!
- Wise Old Man: Adventurer, your actions fill me with concern!
- Player: (If completed Temple of Ikov and defeated Lucien) I've defeated Lucien.
- Wise Old Man: Truly, your bravery exceeds your stature. But I fear his defeat will not be permanent.
- Player: (If completed Desert Treasure) Azzanadra taught me some ancient magical powers after I unlocked the pyramid where he had been trapped.
- Wise Old Man: Leave me, traveller; I am old, and your words fill me with horror.
- Wielding the power of the gods
- Player: Can I wield the power of Saradomin myself?
- Wise Old Man: On completing the trials to use the Mage Arena, you can wield the cloak and staff of Saradomin. You will then be able to cast thee Saradomin Strike spell, which summons his power against your foe.
- Three gods?
- Something to do with you...
- Your hat!
- Player: I want to ask you about your hat.
- Wise Old Man: (If not completed Love Story) Why, thank you! I rather like it myself.
- You should give it back, you know.
- Player: You should give it back, you know.
- Wise Old Man: No, I think I'll keep it.
- Player: But...
- Wise Old Man: Now that you've got that off your chest, would you like to ask me about anything else?
- How can I get a hat like that?
- Player: How can I get a hat like that?
- Wise Old Man: Ahh, sadly these hats are now very rare. Maybe some other player would be willing to sell you theirs, but it would be incredibly expensive.
- Player: Can I buy your hat?
- Wise Old Man: Ohhh no, I don't intend to part with this.
- Wise Old Man: (If completed Love Story) Why, thank you! I think it really suits her.
- Zenevivia: Dissy, you're so sweet.
- (If completed Swan Song) That quest we did together...
- Player: That was quite an exciting quest we did together!
- Wise Old Man: Oh yes, it was certainly a fitting end to my adventuring days. Your fight against the Sea Troll Queen was highly impressive!
- Player: Are you tempted to go on another quest in the future?
- Wise Old Man: (If not completed Love Story) No, I feel I am a bit old for that kind of thing now. New times need new heroes, and I'm sure you'll always be there to answer the call!
- Player: I'll certainly see what I can do.
- Wise Old Man: (If completed Love Story) No, Zinny and I aren't interested in that kind of adventure.
- Zenevivia: Quite right. People should solve their own problems instead of sitting around waiting for an adventurer to help them.
- Your retirement
- Player: When we finished fighting those sea trolls, you said you'd finished with adventuring, didn't you?
- Wise Old Man: (If not completed Love Story)Yes, that's right. I'm an old man, there's no denying it, and I need a nice quiet retirement. Besides, I think you've proved that the new generation has its own heroes and adventurers - I should step back and let you get on with it!
- Player: Does this mean you're not going to do any more big robberies?
- Wise Old Man: Well, since you saved my life when we were fighting the Sea Troll Queen, I don't mind telling you... I trust you won't tell anyone about this?
- Player: Go on...
- Wise Old Man: I might just have something in mind. After all, that little bank incident went very smoothly.
- Player: But you're retired!
- Wise Old Man: I retired from adventuring and questing. The episode in the bank was hardly a quest, more like a shopping trip!
- Player: Your shopping trip killed 3 bank staff and several innocent bystanders, not to mention the watchman!
- Wise Old Man: I've saved countless villages from unspeakable terrors and slain innumerable evil monsters - surely I deserve some sort of reward in return? Yet what did I get? NOTHING! You yourself would get pretty angry if you did a long and dangerous quest and didn't get any reward from it, eh? I'm sure you would! Well, imagine how I felt at the end of a long life of questing when[sic] was left penniless, and I have to move into this thief-infested village? This little shack was falling apart when I arrived! You go speak to the hag who keeps looking through my window - she'll show you how it used to look before I could afford to redecorate it! Being noble and virtuous doesn't put food on the table, and I don't intend to sit in banks begging like so many people do these days.
- Player: So all those quests in the past, when you saved people from monsters and stuff like that... you only helped them because you wanted a reward?
- Wise Old Man: No, it wasn't always like that. I used to be satisfied just knowing that I'd helped, and that was reward enough. But eventually I realised that people forgot about me as soon as the danger was gone, and I wasn't even getting paid properly for my services. Sometimes they offered me training in the various skills, but that's no use to me! I eventually realised that the only way I could get a proper reward for my life's efforts is if I took the reward myself. So I took up my cape and staff and headed for the bank.
- Player: And now you're planning to do another robbery? Didn't you get enough from the bank?
- Wise Old Man: Perhaps not... But enough of this matter!
- Wise Old Man: (If completed Love Story) That's right. Zinny and I don't do that sort of thing.
- Your hat!
(After peering through telescope)
- Player: I see you've got your telescope pointing at the Wizards' Tower.
- Wise Old Man: Oh, do I? Well, why does that interest you?
- Player: Well, you robbed a bank, and I bet you're now planning something to do with that Tower?
- Wise Old Man: No, no, I'm not planning anything like that again.
- Player: Well, I'll be watching you...
(Seeing Zanik after completion of The Chosen Commander)
- Zanik: So then what happened?
- Wise Old Man: Why, then I looted its body, of course! Why else would I have slain the giant?
- Zanik: I thought you were there to save the people of the village.
- Wise Old Man: What? Oh, yes, that too. When I got back to the village, they threw an enormous part for me and gave me presents. We danced until the sun came up. Ah, those were the days.
- Zanik: Oh, hello [player name]. Dionysius here was telling me about his adventures
- What adventure is this?
- Player: What adventure is this?
- Wise Old Man: Oh, it's just some small tale of a giant I once killed. It's nothing special. I'm far more interested in hearing of your adventures, young Zanik. I've never met such an exceptional goblin.
- Zanik: Well, [player name] and I did stop the H.A.M. people from destroying my city.
- Wise Old Man: Opposition to monsters is all very well, but those H.A.M. people can take things a bit too far.
- Zanik: Yes, well... then we were nearly conquered by an avatar of the evil god Bandos, but [player name] and I managed to defeat it.
- Wise Old Man: You defeated an evil god? You must have had Saradomin on your side to achieve such a thing.
- Zanik: Well, no, we defeated him ourselves. We're getting on fine without any gods.
- Wise Old Man: Hmm. Well. A great adventure. Well done.