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{{dialogue|npc}}

These are a series of conversations one may have with Postie Pete or witness him having with another NPC.

==Player and NPCs==
Postie Pete will stop and talk with players if they speak with him. What he says depends on the location they encounter him at.

If a player tries to speak to him as he is leaving, they will receive a message that says, "Postie Pete is preparing to [[teleport]] somewhere else, distracting him could have some terrible side effects."

However, if a player is ''already'' speaking to Postie Pete when he teleports away, the conversation will not be interrupted, and the player will turn to face his new location, giving them a clue as to where he has gone.

====Player (A)====

'''Player:''' "Hey Postie Pete how's it going?"

'''Postie:''' "I was just trying to get some wise words of wisdom from the Oracle, You know, she's been here a long time"

'''Player''': "Yes, I thought as much, what did she say?"

'''Postie:''' "First she said, I am the Oracle when I speak, let no dog bark!"

'''Player:''' "I see and then what?"

'''Postie:''' "I didn't know she was familiar with the words of Shakespeare, so I said "et tu brute'"

'''Player:''' "And then?"

'''Postie:''' "Well then she started pointing to Ardougne and rambling on about betrayal!"

===[[Barmaid]] at The Laughing Miner===
'''Postie:''' Anyone got post?

'''Postie:''' 4 pints of your finest please.

'''Barmaid:''' 4 pints coming right up. Are you expecting guests?

'''Postie:''' Just a few old friends.

'''Barmaid:''' You want me to put it on your tab?

'''Postie:''' That would be great, thanks. Oh, cripes! I've left a fire burning! I've got to go!

===[[Pirate Pete]]===

'''Postie:''' Anyone got post?

'''Postie:''' Hey Pete. Any news from the fleet?

'''Pirate Pete:''' No yo ho bruv.

'''Pirate Pete:''' ’Tis all quiet on the eastern front.

'''Postie:''' Good good.

'''Postie:''' Well you know what to do if something goes wrong.

'''Pirate Pete:''' Aye, that I do, bruv.

'''Pirate Pete:''' Holler like a bosun without a bottle.

'''Postie:''' That’s it brother, and we’ll come a running!

===[[Reldo]]===

'''Postie Pete:''' Anyone got post?

'''Postie:''' Reldo, have you found that book I was looking for yet?

'''Reldo:''' No, not yet… but I know I’ve seen it somewhere…

'''Reldo:''' …come back later.

'''Postie:''' Sure, no problems. See you later.

'''Reldo:''' Bye! Say hi to the other Petes for me.

'''Postie:''' Will do. Farewell!

===[[Party Pete]]===

'''Postie:''' Anyone got post?

'''Postie:''' Hey Bro, how’s the party business?

'''Party Pete:''' Great! Thanks!

'''Party Pete:''' Celebrating weddings and drop parties…

'''Party Pete:''' …and getting paid for it!

'''Postie:''' Nice. Well I’m here to talk to some white knights.

'''Party Pete:''' Want to take some cake with you?

'''Postie:''' No thanks, I’m still dieting.

'''Postie:''' Just seafood for me.

===[[Oracle]]===

'''Postie:''' Anyone got post?

'''Postie:''' Well I’m back. And he said no. Again.

'''Oracle:''' Lemons? Both of them?

'''Postie:''' Lemons? What are you talking about?

'''Oracle:''' Fragile! Do not bend!

'''Postie:''' I swear you get stranger every time.

'''Postie:''' Ok, I’ll ask again.

===[[Notterazzo]]===

'''Postie:''' Anyone got post?

'''Postie:''' Psssst! How is the plan going?

'''Notterazzo:''' Perfectly. Everyone is prepared.

'''Postie:''' Great. Now don’t forget- nobody does anything until I give the signal.

'''Notterazzo:''' Sure no problem. We’ll be waiting.

'''Postie:''' ‘Till next time. Farewell.

===[[Parroty Pete]]===

'''Postie:''' Anyone got post?

'''Postie:''' Hi Pete!

'''Postie:''' Mum wants to know if you’re coming round for tea.

'''Parroty Pete:''' No. I’ve got another late night here.

'''Parroty Pete:''' Ol’ blue beak’s got the flu again!

'''Postie:''' Oh dear. Nothing too serious I hope.

'''Parroty Pete:''' Well as long as he hasn’t caught anything from that evil chicken.

'''Postie:''' Got a taste for parrots now too does he?

'''Postie:''' *Sigh* Will nothing sacred be safe?

===[[Lanthus]]===

'''Postie:''' Anyone got post?

'''Postie:''' Fight! Fight! ...Fight!

'''Lanthus:''' Easy Pete, calm down. Don't lose your head!

'''Postie:''' Cheeky!! If you're not carful I'll get you cursed too.

'''Lanthus:''' You wouldn't catch me double-crossing a witch!

'''Postie:''' But which witch is which! Anyway, I'm late for an appointment with the oracle

'''Lanthus:''' Take care and say hi to the kids for me.

==Postie Pete's jokes==
The joke: "Two birds are sitting on a perch. One says to the other 'Do you smell fish?'"

The meaning: A [[Wikipedia:Perch|perch]] is a type of fish.

Q – What happens if you right-click and ‘Use’ your own belly?

A – Nothing intestine happens.

Transcript:Postie Pete - Revision history

imported>CookBot: /* Reldo */removing line breaks